Title: The
Devil Wears Scrubs
Author: Freida McFadden
Published: August 15th, 2013
Word Count: 60,000
Genre: Humor
Recommended Age: 18+
Synopsis:
Newly minted
doctor Jane McGill is in hell.
Not literally, of course. But between her drug addict patients, sleepless nights on call, and battling wits with the sadistic yet charming Sexy Surgeon, Jane can’t imagine an afterlife much worse than her first month of medical internship at County Hospital.
And then there’s the devil herself: Jane’s senior resident Dr. Alyssa Morgan. When Alyssa becomes absolutely hell-bent on making her new interns pay tenfold for the deadly sin of incompetence, Jane starts to worry that she may not make it through the year with her soul or her sanity still intact.
Not literally, of course. But between her drug addict patients, sleepless nights on call, and battling wits with the sadistic yet charming Sexy Surgeon, Jane can’t imagine an afterlife much worse than her first month of medical internship at County Hospital.
And then there’s the devil herself: Jane’s senior resident Dr. Alyssa Morgan. When Alyssa becomes absolutely hell-bent on making her new interns pay tenfold for the deadly sin of incompetence, Jane starts to worry that she may not make it through the year with her soul or her sanity still intact.
About the Author:
Freida McFadden is a physician who has finally finally
finally come to the end of her training and is still intact to write about it.
THE INTERVIEW:
1. How
long have you been writing?
Since age 9. My first
works were heavily (and badly) illustrated.
2. What or who inspires you to write?
My fans. <blows kisses>
3. What genre do you like to read?
Mostly chick lit, but I like anything good.
4. What is your favorite genre to write?
Humor, chick lit
5. Who is your favorite author and why?
It changes month to month, but I’m usually a Sophie Kinsella
fan.
6. What do you love about writing and why?
I love anything creative, like art or writing. I like adding art to the world.
7. What is the book about?
Newly minted doctor Jane McGill is in hell.
Not literally, of course.
But between her drug addict patients, sleepless nights on call, and
battling wits with the sadistic yet charming Sexy Surgeon, Jane can’t imagine
an afterlife much worse than her first month of medical internship at County
Hospital.
And then there’s the devil herself: Jane’s senior resident Dr.
Alyssa Morgan. When Alyssa becomes
absolutely hell-bent on making her new interns pay tenfold for the deadly sin
of incompetence, Jane starts to worry
that she may not make it through the year with her soul or her sanity still
intact.
8. What or who was the inspiration for the
book?
The real Alyssa. <shudder>
9. Who are the characters in the book?
There’s Dr. Jane
McGill, slightly incompetent but lovable newbie intern; Sexy Surgeon,
incredibly handsome and incredibly full of himself; and the evil Dr. Alyssa
Morgan (the devil herself), who has pledged to make Jane's first month as a
doctor a living hell.
Excerpt from The Devil Wears Scrubs by Freida McFadden:
This patient is the
fattest man I’ve ever seen in my life. His name is George Leeman and he’s got
fat folds on his belly that are so deep, I think I could stick my whole fist
inside. Hell, I think I could stick my whole arm inside. I think I might be
able to set up a tent in his belly button with an adjacent fireplace. The
nurses had to get him an extra-large bed because the regular hospital beds were
too small to fit his massive frame.
Before we got him in
the bed, the nurses weighed Mr. Leeman on our bariatric scale. It’s a scale we
use for people who are either really obese or are in a wheelchair. The scale
has a platform that’s about the size of an elevator and you can wheel or waddle
onto it. We got a weight for Mr. Leeman and used it to calculate his body mass
index (BMI). The BMI is a calculation based on a patient’s weight and height,
and tells us scientifically exactly how fat a patient is.
For example, before I
started medical school, my BMI was 24. That put me square in the middle range
of “normal.” Now, less than one month into my intern year, my BMI is 26, which
puts me just on the edge of “overweight,” kind of like the rest of the country.
If I continue to eat primarily junk food, which is likely given how the last
few weeks are going, I might get up to 30, which would make me officially
“obese.”
Mr. Leeman’s BMI is
about five trillion.
Not really. But it’s
high. He’s what we’d call “morbidly obese.” That’s a real medical diagnosis,
you know. It’s not just something you say to make fun of the fat kid in the
playground.
I’ve been sitting
here talking to Mr. Leeman for about thirty minutes, scribbling notes on a
piece of paper about his heart disease, his medications, his other medical
problems. I actually sort of like the guy. He’s got a big toothy smile and he
calls me “honey.” I should probably be insulted by the “honey” thing since he’s
supposed to call me “doctor” and he’s just being disrespectful and sexist, but
at this hour of the morning, any kind words make me feel a little less awful.
My senior resident
Alyssa particularly dislikes obese patients. When the emergency room calls her
about an obese patient, she sighs extra loudly. I’m not as bothered, and it’s
not just because I automatically like anything that makes Alyssa unhappy. But I
figure nobody gets to 600 pounds just by eating a bunch of bacon double
cheeseburgers. People who are that big must have a disease, just like the
patients with pancreatic cancer or multiple sclerosis. And I’m not going to
throw stones. After all, I like my bacon double cheeseburgers too.
“Do you have any more
questions, sweetheart?” Mr. Leeman asks me. I’ve now graduated to sweetheart.
He’s making me feel all of twelve years old.
I look down at my
page of chicken scratch. I can make out exactly five words on the page. I’ve
been a doctor less than a month and I already got the handwriting down pat.
“No, I think that’ll
be all,” I say. Then I add, “For now.”
As a lowly medical
intern, I must discuss every patient I see with my senior resident—and odds are
twenty to one that Alyssa will send me back in here to ask something else I
forgot. No matter how thorough a history I think I got, she always comes up
with something. What’s the patient’s shoe size? What did he eat for dinner last
night? What was the middle name of his best friend in third grade? Alyssa
demands a very thorough history.
I find Alyssa sitting
in the resident lounge, which is her working area of choice when we’re on call.
She’s wearing blue scrubs that make her eyes look bluer. Alyssa isn’t
beautiful, although sometimes I wish she were because it would give me another
reason to hate her. She’s on the cusp of beautiful, but she’s a little too
skinny, a little too tall, her forehead a little too long. My mother always
says that the forehead is what makes the face. I’m not sure I agree with that
one, but Alyssa’s forehead definitely isn’t doing her any favors.
Alyssa must be as
sleep deprived as I am, but she doesn’t look it. Her straight brown hair is
swept back into… I think it’s a chignon, although I truthfully don’t know what
the hell a chignon is. Not one little hair is out of place. Her eyes aren’t
bloodshot and don’t have little purple circles under them, like I know mine do
without even looking in a mirror. And she smells good. Nothing in this hospital
smells good, except somehow Alyssa does.
“Hi,” I say timidly.
Alyssa is flipping
through her index cards. She carries around a pack of index cards on which she
catalogues information about all our patients, and possibly one about me too.
My biggest fantasy is stealing her index cards and watching her flounder. Then
I get disgusted with myself that stealing index cards has now become my biggest
fantasy. In any case, she doesn’t look up from her cards when she speaks to me.
“Are you ready?” she
asks me.
She’s not really
asking me if I’m ready. She’s really saying to me, “You better be ready and not
be wasting my time, girlie.” I wring my fists together and in the process, I
crumple my notes slightly. Even though it’s three in the morning, I’ve got a
little surge of adrenaline going.
“I’m ready,” I say,
with all the finality of someone pledging her marriage vows.
Alyssa gestures at
the couch across from her. I’m not allowed to actually sit next to her while we
talk. I’m lucky she lets me sit at all. I can imagine her forcing me to stand
at the doorway, maybe on one foot.
Before I can open my mouth, Alyssa
says, “What took you so long?”
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