PMS can be a real witch.
Ivie McKie isn’t your run-of-the-mill kindergarten teacher. After an encounter with a horny goat, Ivie has a confrontation with her lying, cheating fiancé. She is shocked when the big jerk suddenly transforms into a skunk—the black and white furry variety.
Enlisting the help of her shopaholic friend Chloe and sexy club magician Jackson Blake, Ivie is forced to play a literal game of cat and mouse as she races against the clock to change her ex back before she’s arrested for his murder.
With every new spell, a fresh wave of sexual desire draws Jack further into Ivie’s troubles, along with her panties, the car, the kitchen, and assorted seedy bathrooms.
Ivie soon discovers what every witch worth her spell book knows: There’s nothing worse than a bad case of Post Magical Syndrome.
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MY REVIEW
OMG... I totally loved this book! I think I laughed through almost the entire thing.
It all starts when Ivie McKie has a rather mortifying experience with a goat at farm on a field trip with her kindergarten class. At the same time, she's oogling the sexy vet there. Her life can't get much worse.
When her fiancee Matt Green comes home to tell her he's leaving her for another woman and wants her out of his house, and to, oh by the way, give him the ring back, she's furious. So much so, she turns him into a skunk. Literally.
She doesn't know how she does it, and no matter how she tries... she can't change him back.
When she looks up a magician on Craigslist by the name of Jackson Blake, her life takes a sudden turn. He tells her he can help her out, and takes her out to the wood. Suddenly Ivie finds herself practically jumping him in the middle of the forest, and she can't understand why. The magic in her makes her constantly in a sexual frenzy, and Jack is more then happy to help her out.
When she turns Matt from a rat and then a snake and then a dog... she knows she can't change him back to human on her own. She needs help, and when Jack mentions his famous magician brother Jon, they high tail it to Vegas to see him.
What she doesn't expect is the determination of the woman Matt is leaving her for. Candy is convinced that Ivie did away with him because she was pissed he was leaving, and calls the police to investigate his disappearance. Ivie knows she can't tell them the truth, because they would have her locked up so fast her head would spin.
I loved her best friend Chloe and animosity between her and Matt the Dog. He didn't like her, and she really didn't like him. The plane ride to Vegas was hilarious, and I could not stop laughing!! I wish I had her shopping budget... as she was always shopping for designer anything!
Also, with all the magic she's doing, Ivie manages to jump Jack in some interesting places... his car, her kitchen.... airport bathroom (eww!), his brother's bathroom... and some more interesting places. She's not used to it, and at the same time, her appearance is changing as well. Her hair, which was originally brown, turns bright red and her chest size gets bigger every time she uses magic. Jack doesn't mind, but for someone who kept to herself, she's not used to it.
I loved this book! I could not stop laughing through the whole thing... and the goat incident... OMG!!!!
I loved Ivie. She freeked out about having magic at the beginning, but soon figured out how to use it. It also helped that she got the energy from Jack in some really interesting places.... When she finds out that her father was the same as her, she realizes the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Jack was beautiful, and her loved Ivie. Even though everything she was going through seemed crazy, he stood by her and helped her out. When he saw firsthand that she could change her ex into different animals, he knew she was real deal.
~~~~~~~~~~~
THE EXCERPT
“You’re
too sexy, my ass!” I tried to tune out the Right Said Fred ringtone as I fished
my fiancé’s cell phone from the pocket of his discarded Dockers. I glared at
the flashing caller ID. “You just don’t give up, do you?”
That
was lucky number thirteen. Thirteen missed calls in the span of an hour.
Thirteen calls he was unable to answer.
Because
of me.
After
pressing ignore one more time, I
shoved the phone back into the pocket where it belonged, hoping it would muffle
the sound somewhat. I didn’t know why I didn’t just turn off the damn thing.
I’d endured his ridiculous ring tone more times than anyone should have to,
obviously determined to punish myself. Between the maddening song and the
horrible smell, I certainly felt punished. Even if it wasn’t nearly enough.
Way
down deep in my bones, I knew my life had been forever changed. Even if I could somehow fix things—put
them back to normal—nothing would be
the same again. Not ever.
Swallowing
against the crystal ball-sized lump in my throat, I dropped Matt’s pants where
I’d found them, along with his shirt, his boxers, and his shoes, and I
collapsed onto the rumpled blankets on the bed.
That
sort of thing didn’t happen in the real world. Only small children or crazy
people believed in… no, I refused to even think the word, let alone say it. It’s
impossible. But I’d seen it with my own eyes, and whatever it was, it definitely wasn’t
normal.
My
scruffy housecat made another frantic orbit around my feet as the phone sounded
again, the self-centered lyrics looping, making me cringe. Apparently, he’d
also grown weary of the tune.
If
only I could say the choice of ring tone was ironic, a product of his wry sense
of humor. But he didn’t have much of a sense of humor. Matthew Green was exactly that arrogant. Despite every
despicable thing he’d done to me, every insult, lie, and betrayal that had led
us there, I truly wished Matt could answer his stupid phone himself.
Unfortunately, wishing didn’t seem to be on my side that morning.
Stifling
a groan, I pulled myself from the warmth of the bed to dig the phone out of
Matt’s pocket again. Geez, persistent
much? With a deep, cleansing breath, I mashed down the button to accept the
call.
“Matt!
Where are you?” Matt’s receptionist, Ginger, snapped before I had a chance to
say hello. “Friday’s your busiest day. Do you have any idea what time it is?
You’ve already missed two appointments.”
Even
without caller ID, I would have recognized her breathy Betty Boop voice. She
sounded as though she’d been sucking helium all morning. I didn’t know her
well, but I suspected she was banging my fiancé.
“We’ll
be lucky if there’s enough time for a quickie before the next patient arrives,”
she continued in a whisper.
Yep… definitely
banging him.
“And
another thing.” Her sweet baby voice morphed into a feral growl. “Candy’s been
standing outside your office all morning. I thought you said you were done with
her? I’m not kidding, Matt, if I find out you’re still screwing her, I’m going
to cut off your balls.”
Apparently,
I was engaged to a pathological cheater. Of course, I hadn’t known that when I
agreed to marry him. There were a lot of things I didn’t know about Matt. Then
again, there was a lot I didn’t know about me.
“Well?
Aren’t you going to say anything?”
“Uh… hi, Ginger.” I cleared my throat and
resisted the urge to “say anything.”
“This is Ivie. Matt can’t come to the phone. I… uh... don’t think he’s going to
be able to… uh… make it into work today.” I managed to stammer through the
basics without my voice cracking.
“Oh,
hi, Ivie.” Her voice changed again; she sounded as if she’d been sucking
lemons. She didn’t even have the decency to be embarrassed. “What’s wrong with
Matt? He hasn’t missed a day in… Actually, I don’t think he’s ever called in
sick.”
My
eyes darted to the closed bathroom door, and I shuddered. “He’s really not
feeling like himself today.” Understatement of the century.
“Is
he sick?”
“Um…
I definitely don’t think anyone wants what he has.” I tiptoed around the
answer. I wasn’t good at coy, but I gave it my best shot.
“Oh…
Well, in that case, maybe it’s best if he stays home.” I could almost see her
coiling a lock of her thick red hair around her finger as she spoke. “Just tell
him I hope he feels better, and not to worry. I’ll reschedule his appointments
for him. Do you think he’ll be well enough to come in Monday?”
I
tamped down a flicker of panic. “I really hope so.” But I seriously doubt it.
After
listening to Ginger rant for a minute about missed appointments and the
difficult task of rescheduling, I ended the call, staring at the bathroom door
as if I expected a silent command to open it. I closed my eyes and tried to
imagine the door swinging wide and my fiancé sauntering out. I popped open one
eye. The door hadn’t moved—not even a crack.
For
far too long, I’d avoided that room. With three tentative steps, I closed the
distance between myself and the master bathroom, covering my mouth and nose
with one hand as I cracked the door. I’d almost gotten used to the foul odor in
the bedroom. It was bad but not unbearable. The stench in the bathroom was
overwhelming. The fumes poured out, bringing tears to my eyes. The small space
reeked worse than when I’d locked him in there last night. It smelled as if
someone had cooked up a potion of burning tires and rotten eggs in a boiling
vat of sour ammonia, and even that comparison wasn’t quite bad enough.
Blinking
back the sting of tears, I scanned the room. I didn’t see him anywhere, just a
puddle that looked suspiciously like urine in one corner and in the other, a
makeshift bed fashioned out of—were those my good bath towels?
No
Matt.
A
quick rush of adrenaline kick-started my heart. What’s happened to him now? This is bad. Very, very bad. As if
things weren’t bad enough already. What sort of person was I? What I’d done was
unspeakable, so horrible even I
didn’t know what I’d done.
Just
as I was about to have a full-blown panic attack, he slinked out from behind
the hamper. I should have been relieved he was still alive, but I wasn’t sure
if his current state was much better. He stared up at me—his beady little black
eyes blinking in the harsh fluorescent light—so much smaller than he used to be
and covered in a thick pelt of black and white fur. My fiancé.
The skunk.
THE AUTHOR:
When she’s not writing or tending to her collection of crazy chickens and diabolical ducks, she’s either reading bad fan fiction or singing karaoke in the local pub. Much like the main character in her newest book, To Katie With Love, Erica is a magnet for disaster, and has been known to trip on air while walking across flat surfaces. How she’s managed to survive this long is one of life’s great mysteries.
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my book.
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